Who Have You Told About Your Fetish?

[Bluestone]

Have you told anyone, and if so, what was their reaction? If you have told no one, what is preventing you from doing so?

Well, here's my situation, since I asked everyone for theirs.

None of my family members have been told, but I have shared my fetish with my close cast members, almost all of whom do not share the fetish. They have all accepted the fact that I have these thoughts and am filming the Bluestone scenarios as a way to roleplay. None of them seem threatened by the fact that I have these thoughts and desires, and Suzi, Petra, and the others have filmed alone with me without any fear that I would actually hurt them. Being fully accepted by this small group of friends and associates is extremely important to me, because until I shared my fetish with them, I felt like I would never be able to share this knowledge with anyone in person.

An interesting tidbit: When I first started filming with Petra, we discussed her previous filming with Dlister of Annabelle's. She liked working with him and Annabelle a lot, and on our first shoot, we discussed the content. She just matter-of-factly said, but Dlister wasn't into this fetish. Well, I figured it was time to broach the subject. Besides, at that time I thought that it was a one-shot shoot with Petra anyway. So, I told her that Dlister, who had by that time left the community, did indeed have the fetish, as we had talked frequently in this vein. Dlister had obviously not felt comfortable admitting his fetish to her, and perhaps to his other models too. Not sure, because I had lost contact with him by that point. She appeared shocked, but then I advised her that I had the fetish too. By that time, she had shot with me for a few days, and we had got on quite well. So, she considered the matter for a moment, then totally accepted the facts. It didn't change our relationship at all. When the shoot ended, I asked her if she'd like to come back again. Without hesitation, she said, "Yes, I'd like that very much". We've had six shoots since then. It's really nice to feel accepted by those who I most enjoy hanging out with, and to know that they accept me with full knowledge of my fetish. Both Petra and Suzi, who are soon to retire, have expressed an interest in keeping in touch with me long after we stop filming together.

So, that's my story, what's yours?

Blue

[Nyghtfall]

I was stupid enough to wait until three years after we were married to tell my wife. I was too afraid to tell her while we were still dating, for fear of losing her. And the only reason I told her is because I wanted to join Necrobabes' Asphyx site and not have her question the charges.

We had a number of long discussions afterward. 14 years later, she keeps an eye out for mainstream asphyx scenes I might like.

My Dad and Brother also know, and have both seen my clip site.

[xj900uk]

Outside of anyone on these and associated Forums, t he only other person I ever told was my wife. She wasn't into it but respected that I was.

[Egeek]

noone in my family knows. Im not in a relationship so I dont have to worry about keeping something like that from her. with my luck I would probably end up meeting someone who would think i was a sicko for having those fantasies. People know that I write. thats where it ends. Ssdily when it comes to certain things I dont know anyone offline to chat with about them. so the feelings either bundle up inside or get released into my stories. Also chat about them on here. Also I dont have any female friends on here or even offline. I dont have the luck like everyone else does I guess.

[Egeek]

I was stupid enough to wait until three years after we were married to tell my wife. I was too afraid to tell her while we were still dating, for fear of losing her. And the only reason I told her is because I wanted to join Necrobabes' Asphyx site and not have her question the charges.

We had a number of long discussions afterward. 14 years later, she keeps an eye out for mainstream asphyx scenes I might like.

My Dad and Brother also know, and have both seen my clip site.

writing stories where we add in our fetishes and make them obvious or fetish clips I think is a little different then just mainstream horror scenes. Easier to hide it and just say oh I like the scenes because its horror. not the other reasons why. If I had someone that I can chat with offline about it then that would be different. less guilt maybe then I can fully enjoy my thoughts. But I don't and I cant.

[Nyghtfall]

writing stories where we add in our fetishes and make them obvious or fetish clips I think is a little different then just mainstream horror scenes.

They know I buy fetish clips, too.

[Egeek]

writing stories where we add in our fetishes and make them obvious or fetish clips I think is a little different then just mainstream horror scenes.

They know I buy fetish clips, too.

you are lucky to know people offline that know you fetish clip tastes and fetishes in general. Again I do thankyou for creating that new site to continue sharing scenes for our enjoyment. I hope to see more scenes like from the prowler etc. I remember a couple nice female kills in that movie. Anyways thanks again.

[Egeek]

Bottom line is that I don't trust anyone offline anyways to even share my fetishes with. been screwed over too many times. I dont know if by sharing fetish thoughts with offline people would even relieve the guilt or make the fantasies more comfortable in my mind but I dont think I will ever find out.

[elsullo]

I have told nobody outside of the usual suspects on on-topic messageboards. Even though I am now retired and no longer need fear losing a job, I just cannot trust "outsiders" to deal with such confusing information. Few people can admit any connection between sexuality and death/peril fantasy, or understand that it is already all around them in popular culture!

I was actually "outed" on a non-sex political messageboard: I developed a political opponent who turned out to be a stalker. He googled my nickname (foolishly, I have only ever used one) and endlessly reported my internet interactions, and even poems, to that not-on-topic board. They soon banned me from that messageboard with a storm of insults.

With my second wife I only HINTED in roleplay that it would be fun to pretend to strangle her, and she physically FLED from me in terror. We never spoke of it again and within months we parted, though there were many other reasons also. She had her own kinks too, but none that we could share.

I am past my breeding plumage, but I have resolved that if I ever begin dating again it would START with me discussing my fetish fantasy bent right up front. I am now ONLY interested in a woman who could share the fantasy fun or at least try to understand it.

Regarding Goddess Petra, Bluestone did you mention to her that Annabelle was also very much into the fetish roleplay and an eager artist in building their snoof/necro fetish empire? I wonder if that would give Petra an "oh gosh!" moment? She must have wondered why Annabelle enjoyed putting her in the guillotine so much!.....................elsullo

[Jerry]

I've told nobody offline directly. However, I have referenced snuff a few times here and there. Though my conversations usually revolve around the independent filmmaker technical side of things. Mainly its brought up as a "just because you see it on tv doesn't mean its true" moment. Outside of here, and PKF forums (I think), and DFN, I don't think I've mentioned my 'kinks'. I typically don't even discus sex and/or kinks offline anyway as I'm usually more involved in work or current projects at hand. With what little spare time I have, the fetish doesn't rank anywhere in the priority list.

I'm babbling now, so I'll shut up before I derail the thread.

[Bluestone]

Regarding Goddess Petra, Bluestone did you mention to her that Annabelle was also very much into the fetish roleplay and an eager artist in building their snoof/necro fetish empire? I wonder if that would give Petra an "oh gosh!" moment? She must have wondered why Annabelle enjoyed putting her in the guillotine so much!.....................elsullo

Hi Elsullo,

Petra knew what the site was all about, i.e. fetish fantasy snuff, but she didn't realize that the producers had the fetish. She did tell me that she asked them why she was always the one getting 'killed'. She couldn't remember their answer though.

On our second shoot, I picked her up from the airport, and as I drove into the hotel parking lot and stopped the car momentarily to decide on a parking space, she joked, "What! You're going to kill me right here, Blue?" She is very laid back and has a lot of fun with the scenarios. As for the guillotine, she doesn't miss it, because they used a new one on her once, and the blade didn't stop where it was supposed to and cut the back of her neck. Luckily, she said, it wasn't a face up execution!

Blue

[Nyghtfall]

As for the guillotine, she doesn't miss it, because they used a new one on her once, and the blade didn't stop where it was supposed to and cut the back of her neck. Luckily, she said, it wasn't a face up execution!

Good Lord! They used a real blade?!

[Bluestone]

As for the guillotine, she doesn't miss it, because they used a new one on her once, and the blade didn't stop where it was supposed to and cut the back of her neck. Luckily, she said, it wasn't a face up execution!

Good Lord! They used a real blade?!

No. It was a hard plastic one, but when the failsafe that was supposed to stop it before the blade reached her neck failed, the force of the fake blade falling from that height was enough to draw blood from the back of her neck. I would have used a soft foam, i.e. nerf, blade... just in case, but hindsight is 20/20. Even using fake equipment can be dangerous. It's a little off topic, but Tina told me about one time that she was almost hung for real on a set. The harness attached to the hanging apparatus failed and she was almost strangled by the noose. She had specifically asked the guy who designed it and was operating it whether he was absolutely sure that it was safe, and he told her yes. When the crew managed to get her down, after she took a moment to recover, she went over to the designer and decked him, adding a few expletives deleted. So, I hope all producers out there are thinking 'safety first', because it doesn't take much for fake to become very real.

Blue

[puckart]

I only spoke once of my fetish with someone off-line.
I was still married and she was my lover, a woman older than me and very open-minded.
Her reaction was calm and curious.
But when I told her that the object of my fantasies necessarily have to be beautiful and evil women, she began to speculate as a psychoanalyst:
- maybe in my fantasies I intend to take revenge of the women that I wanted and I never had;
- maybe I find it reassuring to have to deal with women without emotional implications;
- even better if openly hostile, and thus implicitly authorized to dominate them physically... And so on.
All things probably very true , but at the moment bothered me to be psychoanalyzed.
And after a few weeks, our love affair ended. We're still friends, but we never touched the topic again.
Since then I have not talked about my fetish with anyone. I live it in a clandestine manner, and I always feel a little guilty .
Only in forums like this, protected by anonymity, I feel free to share my deviation.

Puckart

[Egeek]

Well I suppose that if I meet someone someday. if. I rather chat about horror flicks and hope she likes horror flicks and sci fi as well. I rather that interest with her or the interest to create a movie for that matter. But I guess some secrets like dark fantasies is better to bet left in the mind or on paper. Just between ourselves just in case. Sometimes we are lucky enough to run into someone who would be open minded enough but its not always the case. Hell I really havent even considered mentioning my fantasies to my parents for that matter. Parents can be the least open minded.