Is there a cure?

[Bluestone]

To all who have the erotic death fetish:

When I didn't know that others existed with this fetish, even before I knew enough to know what to call it, I thought there was something wrong with me. Perhaps there was. Then, I found this community, realized that I was not alone, and embraced this fetish as something that I could now enjoy without a feeling of guilt.

I had once wondered if there was a cure, and if I would have to go through therapy to find it. For years after finding this Internet safehouse, I didn't even think about it, but recently I have once again.

Do I want a cure? Do you want a cure? Do we need a cure? Lots of questions, but surprisingly few answers.

I do know that I enjoy the filming and that I have experienced through it more joy than I ever thought possible, and forged friendships here in this community as well as with those without the fetish who know that I have it... and don't care. I have included into my circle of close friends wonderful and understanding people such as Suzi, Petra, Kerie, Lena and all of the others. I am finally accepted as who I really am by people whose opinion I cherish.

So, do I need a cure... or do I already have the acceptance that makes a cure unnecessary?

Anyone with any answers... or dealing with similar questions?

Blue

[Indrid Cold]

First of all, it ain't a disease, so it can't be "cured". Secondly, whatever it is, I wouldn't want to lose it. It's been the source of much pleasure for me throughout my life and has helped me through some of my most dark and stressful periods. It's a far cheaper, safer and healthier vice (if one should even refer to it as such) than drugs and alcohol.

When I was in my early adolescence, I went through such a period, when I seriously questioned my mental health. But I have long since come to the epiphany that my fetish is harmless, and have fully embraced it. What was its origin? I have a few educated surmises, but I'll probably never know for certain. The origin doesn't really concern me. I just enjoy the ride.

This fetish is a part of each and every one us. As long as it doesn't interfere with our lives or cause us to harm others, the thought of divesting it from ourselves (if that's even possible) should never cross any of our minds. Though we aren't vogue and mainstream like homosexuals, our fetish in no more "immoral" or harmful than homosexuality. It doesn't make us "abnormal". And we, too, have every right to experience, practice, and embrace our fetish just as homosexuals do their with their sexual orientation.

[Nyghtfall]

I never felt there was anything wrong with me. I just thought I was the only one on the planet who got off on death scenes in movies and TV shows. Since I've always maintained a clear distinction between fantasy and reality, I've never felt inclined to try and cure myself, either. So the idea that anyone can feel ashamed, embarrassed, or want to try and rid themselves of what to me feels as natural as breathing has always been a complete mystery to me.

It was by sheer dumb luck that I found Necrobabes in '97 while searching for a list of movies that contained death scenes. From there, I found Samson Alexae's Asphyxia Movie Guide. At that point I learned I wasn't alone after all. That was the coolest feeling in the world, because I had found a group of people I could relate to on that level. I embraced the community, and have maintained an active presence ever since.

[Indrid Cold]

the idea that anyone can feel ashamed, embarrassed, or want to try and rid themselves of what to me feels as natural as breathing has always been a complete mystery to me.

Though I've fully embrace my fetish for sometime, I can understand how some (especially the younger fetishers) may be uncomfortable with it or question their mental health. After all, one of the earliest things we are taught is that killing and harming others is bad. When we feel a sexual sensation that causes a desire to see a character in a movie get killed - especially if it's a "good guy" - it's only natural for us to question why we have this impulse. One starts to ask himself, "Am I capable of killing for sexual desire?" However, once one comes to the realization that the fetish is pure fantasy and relegated to the world of make-believe, he/she has no reason to worry about it.

[Nyghtfall]

However, once one comes to the realization that the fetish is pure fantasy and relegated to the world of make-believe, he/she has no reason to worry about it.

Exactly. I've never felt unsure of my moral center, because even at age 10 - when my fetish started developing - I knew the stuff I got off on was all make believe.

[Indrid Cold]

When I was a boy, I pretty much knew that too, but it still concerned me whenever I looked around, and saw no indication that anyone else had the same reaction as me when seeing a woman in mortal peril in movies, TV, comics, etc. I was still young and naive enough to be worried about being "abnormal". And even though I had never seriously thought about or had the impulse to kill a woman in reality, when I watched documentaries on sex-motivated killers like Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer, it made me worry that my brained was "miswired" in the same way, and that I may grow up to be a serial killer. (Obviously that didn't happen.)

Now, it's pretty obvious how much how much Hollywood intentionally mixes sex and violence.

[xj900uk]

Agreed. I blame Hollywood for everything...

[Major_Tom]

This fetish is a part of each and every one us. As long as it doesn't interfere with our lives or cause us to harm others, the thought of divesting it from ourselves (if that's even possible) should never cross any of our minds.

Exactly. As long as nobody suffers, what is there to cure?

Almost everybody has sexual fantasies, regardless if they admit it or not. In our case they happen to be about murder/death and sometimes they manifest themselves in videos or stories. Nobody gets hurt, so what?

[Egeek]

I wont deny that I was afraid of my fetishes and my own dark fantasies. from time to time I am still a little. but over time I got comfortable with them. chatting with people on here or on other fetish sites. made a few friends that I can share my thoughts and stories on the subject. they dont judge me and I dont judge them. I have my pantyhose fetish and feet fetish and my taboo fantasies. they all come together in my stories and become part of my characters. Its all fantasy. putting aside my fears helps make my horror stories way more fun to write. I see imagination as a fetish. no harm. imagination molds with our fetishes. if we happen to need a box of tissues near by because of the feelings that we have watching a horror movie or a bluestone clip. then hey. arousal is a emotion like sadness. our inner demons crave fetishes seen in scenes. we arent actually going out there and killing like the boston strangler did. our inner demons become characters in stories and movie scenes. thats where it stays. I believe we were born with a imagination for a reason. healthy and safe venting. so there is no need for a cure because imagination is part of being human. should never be taking for granted.

[Egeek]

However, once one comes to the realization that the fetish is pure fantasy and relegated to the world of make-believe, he/she has no reason to worry about it.

Exactly. I've never felt unsure of my moral center, because even at age 10 - when my fetish started developing - I knew the stuff I got off on was all make believe.

yup. unless you think the shape really does go walking around murdering nurses in haddonfield. hehe. my fetishes I think started to form when I was in middle school. just didnt know the term fetish at the time.

[Indrid Cold]

All I can say is, those without the fetish don't know what they are missing. It adds a whole knew dimension.

[Egeek]

All I can say is, those without the fetish don't know what they are missing. It adds a whole knew dimension.

I can agree 100% on that. it helps for the psyche of a character in a story. it adds a reason

[mikedark]

I've been aware that I have a certain set of mental deficiencies for years that I always attributed my fetish to, early on. At this point though I can't see me having a "normal" sex drive. I used to want a cure, but not anymore. Because I have this community, and its filled with so many great people.

[Egeek]

although there is times I wish I didnt have taboo fantasies. picturing my mom as a character in story scenes. what about a partial cure? or wonder if its goo to get off on horror? Im comfortable with some of my fantasies and fetishes but there is a couple that Im still trying to fully get comfortable with.

[Egeek]

you want to know the truth. I wish there was a cure for really really wanting to film a horror movie or one that includes my fetishes for that matter. I cant and I crave it so bad. a director and film maker at heart. I wish I didnt. my imagination and fantasies have become a curse.