Femme Fatalities Message Board

Glad I am stimulating your Muse, Egeek...

xj900uk wrote:Glad I am stimulating your Muse, Egeek...

yup. my muse is the beast in me. it loves fantasy. its tastes make me wonder. The beast in me doesnt like moral elements unless it fits the characters I think too. maybe that part of me knows that since its fantasy. no need for the moral police sort to speak. Hell when I write I have the devil on one shoulder and the angel on another type thing going on. the devil on the other shoulder usually wins. There by writing stories I never thought I could. characters that do cross the moral line in the fantasy world. I guess the angel on the other shoulder is my fear. thats the way it is. oh fun.

Since I can remember, I've had these fantasies (as far back as 7 years old, possibly younger) and I thought it was "just me" and that I was "sick" so I simply kept it all to myself. It wasn't until a couple years ago when I finally decided to embrace it. My "awakening" post is somewhere around here for those who want to read it.

This fetish is a double sided sword to me. On one side, it gives me this really well I hate to use the word to describe it "erotic" feeling, but on the other side makes me feel guilty as sin that I enjoy this. I'm aware its completely fantasy and since nobody is getting hurt in reality, what is there to cure? Some days I'm completely turned off to the fetish but, some days I can't get enough. I've once described it to someone as "if you don't have it, you wont understand it just like I don't understand what your thing with feet is". I don't have a foot fetish.

If there was a cure, no I would not be interested in it since it has formed the basis for some of my characters and I would like to not lose it. The main "protagonist" has been split into 3 different characters and adapted to my now dead RPG so I have thought about writing out and posting a story here but there's a lot of complex background to the character.

I have a dear friend who was transsexual before her surgery allowed her to live a more normal life for her. As we've talked I've heard some of the same themes and doubts. A lot of transgenders apparently start off wanting a 'cure' but many move on to realize this 'thing' is a part of them, and there is increasing medical evidence that it is a brain programming variation. I feel much the same way about us. I didn't choose this fetish. In practice my problems with it are pretty much all to do with the perception of others. That was something my husband was very concerned about and I withdrew from the scene for about fifteen months when the UK brought out the 'dangerous pictures' Act before the court cases gave me reason to believe in the common sense of most juries. (And I missed my online friends!)

A part of me does worry that what we encompass may cause members of that small unsane section of humanity to indulge their horrible lusts. But to be honest a) that's their choice and not mine - and such a choice could be and is triggered by eposodes in the Bible, erotic art, a glimpse of stocking, or a computer game (we had monsters long before we had computers or capable visual reproductions) and b) what we do and portray is mostly so vanilla that it wouldn't in fact trigger such a person.

What I do and portray is a fun way of looking at sex and submission, and gave me and my husband many hours off delicious pleasure even into his final illness.

Steph wrote:I have a dear friend who was transsexual before her surgery allowed her to live a more normal life for her. As we've talked I've heard some of the same themes and doubts. A lot of transgenders apparently start off wanting a 'cure' but many move on to realize this 'thing' is a part of them, and there is increasing medical evidence that it is a brain programming variation. I feel much the same way about us. I didn't choose this fetish. In practice my problems with it are pretty much all to do with the perception of others. That was something my husband was very concerned about and I withdrew from the scene for about fifteen months when the UK brought out the 'dangerous pictures' Act before the court cases gave me reason to believe in the common sense of most juries. (And I missed my online friends!)

A part of me does worry that what we encompass may cause members of that small unsane section of humanity to indulge their horrible lusts. But to be honest a) that's their choice and not mine - and such a choice could be and is triggered by eposodes in the Bible, erotic art, a glimpse of stocking, or a computer game (we had monsters long before we had computers or capable visual reproductions) and b) what we do and portray is mostly so vanilla that it wouldn't in fact trigger such a person.

What I do and portray is a fun way of looking at sex and submission, and gave me and my husband many hours off delicious pleasure even into his final illness.

Always did like your insightful comments. Yes I do have horrible lusts. but they stay in the fantasy realm. Fantasy earth I like to see it as. all my characters live there that do horrible acts because of their own lusts and other reasons. I have fetishes and fantasies that I wish I knew why but I have them. I didn't pick my fetishes but I have them as well. a glimpse of a stocking or pantyhose would do it for me. a glimpse of a womens feet in hose with her shoes off sitting at a train station would do it for me. yes I think a old computer game I think unlocked some of my fantasies way back when I was younger. the love of womens legs in hose happened right around the same time too. The beast in me craves horrible lusts. stuff that is twisted and all that. but I feed it fantasies to keep it in check. my moral center keeps it in check too. while I have these horrible lusts with fear attached. its the fear from my heart to make sure I never act out these fantasies. Im a good person at heart. the beast in me well its not all fluffy bunnies type of creature. it lives by no morals. but thats because it lives with in the fantasy only domain.

Jerry wrote:Since I can remember, I've had these fantasies (as far back as 7 years old, possibly younger) and I thought it was "just me" and that I was "sick" so I simply kept it all to myself. It wasn't until a couple years ago when I finally decided to embrace it. My "awakening" post is somewhere around here for those who want to read it.

This fetish is a double sided sword to me. On one side, it gives me this really well I hate to use the word to describe it "erotic" feeling, but on the other side makes me feel guilty as sin that I enjoy this. I'm aware its completely fantasy and since nobody is getting hurt in reality, what is there to cure? Some days I'm completely turned off to the fetish but, some days I can't get enough. I've once described it to someone as "if you don't have it, you wont understand it just like I don't understand what your thing with feet is". I don't have a foot fetish.

If there was a cure, no I would not be interested in it since it has formed the basis for some of my characters and I would like to not lose it. The main "protagonist" has been split into 3 different characters and adapted to my now dead RPG so I have thought about writing out and posting a story here but there's a lot of complex background to the character.

looks like we have similar thoughts on the subject. I would love to see that awakening post that you posted. I guess you can say that it is a two sided sword. a part of me likes the erotic feelings of my fantasies. while the other part of me feels the guilt. If I didnt have these fantasies and horrible lusts that only aside in my mind then the characters that i have created wouldnt have. You cant have one without the other. As for my feet fetish. I wish I knew why I have it or even explain it to myself. while I dont mind at all that you dont understand that fetish of mine or my death stare fetish even that you probably may not. You dont judge me. I dont judge you.

Question, Egeek, if a fantasy stays just fantasy - ie in somebody's head, and only takes tangible thought on pen & paper, does that make it 'horrible'? By whose definition? If you had the fantasy, how can you judge it 'horrible'?

xj900uk wrote:Question, Egeek, if a fantasy stays just fantasy - ie in somebody's head, and only takes tangible thought on pen & paper, does that make it 'horrible'? By whose definition? If you had the fantasy, how can you judge it 'horrible'?

good point. would it fall under dark fantasy or just call it fantasy? Maybe its just a realm in our minds that we either put in paper or film where its just imagination that all wouldnt understand. yet you cant label it horrible but just horror because why put morals to something that you dont want to see happen anyways.

Yeah... methinks Freud would have a field day with us all! Think of it more as a 'horror fantasy' more than 'horrific'

xj900uk wrote:Yeah... methinks Freud would have a field day with us all! Think of it more as a 'horror fantasy' more than 'horrific'

ya I know. ya saying horror fantasy does sound more comfortable with my thoughts then saying horrific. horrific is the element that the character creates. horrific is when these thoughts are acted out.

Egeek wrote:looks like we have similar thoughts on the subject. I would love to see that awakening post that you posted. I guess you can say that it is a two sided sword. a part of me likes the erotic feelings of my fantasies. while the other part of me feels the guilt. If I didnt have these fantasies and horrible lusts that only aside in my mind then the characters that i have created wouldnt have. You cant have one without the other. As for my feet fetish. I wish I knew why I have it or even explain it to myself. while I dont mind at all that you dont understand that fetish of mine or my death stare fetish even that you probably may not. You dont judge me. I dont judge you.

My "awakening" http://www.femmefatalities.com/phpBB3/v ... 953#p39953 Reading it now, some of it really isn't clear, but there it is. I was just typing it as it flowed I didn't go back and mess with it

BTW: I wasn't specifically addressing anyone specific about the foot fetish, it was merely used as an example. A more common example would be I don't understand everyone's love for bacon...

But rest assured I don't/wont judge anyone just because they love bacon, or feet, or both. ;)

Jerry wrote:

Egeek wrote:looks like we have similar thoughts on the subject. I would love to see that awakening post that you posted. I guess you can say that it is a two sided sword. a part of me likes the erotic feelings of my fantasies. while the other part of me feels the guilt. If I didnt have these fantasies and horrible lusts that only aside in my mind then the characters that i have created wouldnt have. You cant have one without the other. As for my feet fetish. I wish I knew why I have it or even explain it to myself. while I dont mind at all that you dont understand that fetish of mine or my death stare fetish even that you probably may not. You dont judge me. I dont judge you.

My "awakening" http://www.femmefatalities.com/phpBB3/v ... 953#p39953 Reading it now, some of it really isn't clear, but there it is. I was just typing it as it flowed I didn't go back and mess with it

BTW: I wasn't specifically addressing anyone specific about the foot fetish, it was merely used as an example. A more common example would be I don't understand everyone's love for bacon...

But rest assured I don't/wont judge anyone just because they love bacon, or feet, or both. ;)

thanks for the link. I appreciate it. I didnt even know that topic even existed. when I have a chance I will add in my thoughts on it. I love lego too. I didnt know there were others on here that liked lego as well. I have a detailed imagination as well. My childhood was a little crazy too. Im a lone wolf myself.

Legos is my favorite past time. Actually me and a friend (who is a friend Ive known the longest, since 3rd grade) have recently dumped out my Lego collection and built a lot of little models and we decided to record a sci-fi fantasy spoof on pretty much anything we can get away with. We have 109 figures and 50 something vehicles and its going to be a mixture of stop motion, and live action filming with whatever effects we can achieve using traditional media. I don't want to hijack this thread for unrelated babble but 'deaths' of Lego figures will be involved with judges who will hold up score cards on how well the character/ group died.

Like others have said, I don't believe it is a disease, so there's not a cure needed. Many people have the erotic death fetish to one degree or another.

This is proven by the increasingly violent and realistic effects in mainstream movies. The subtle defense to enjoying erotic death is that the movie is "scary". But that is not true. The Amityville Horror is scary, the Exorcist was scary, Psycho was scary. The others are simply bloodbaths where the audience looks forward to seeing how violent and disturbing a persons death will be. And most of the time that death is to an attractive young woman.

What sets us apart isn't the fetish, but an admission of the fetish. We don't hide behind the "it's scary" cloak.

It's been around a lot longer in Hollywood and the Media than people think - just look at some of the works of Alfred Hitchcock...