How did you start your fetish; what are your memories?
Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 1:21 pm
This is something I wrote earlier in response to another post. However that post was at the end of its life so there wasn’t much comeback on mine. I would like to know how others got started on their road, what they remember and what scenarios they like best.
I was brought up in the ‘50s on a British working class street, with many cinemas nearby. With an unmarried aunt, I would go twice a week. Bless her; she sat through westerns, adventure and sword and sandal films. However occasionally there were thrillers where a woman was killed. This made me uncomfortable; at the time I thought it was because women shouldn’t be killed - they were mothers, housewives etc. I wonder if it was because I enjoyed that part of the film but felt guilty about it.
My friends and I would visit second hand bookshops to buy comics. There were also True Detective magazines for sale, some imported from the States. At a time when there weren’t many scantily dressed women in film or TV, the sight of lingerie clad women in peril excited me, especially if the threat they faced was strangling. I didn’t buy any, there was something “wrong” with these magazines.
The media became more liberal, if that is the word. Newspapers like The Sun had topless models on page 3, and if those girls had something decorative around their neck – a ribbon, a scarf – then my cup did run over. The first sight of a tongue protruding from a strangled woman came in ‘68 in the BBC series about a pathologist – The Expert. Things could also creep up on you – Rhonda Fleming nearly strangled in the Bob Hope comedy The Great Lover. At school I bought a second hand war book (Comrades of War, Sven Hassell) expecting the usual stuff. But the protagonists spend the first half of the book in hospital in Hamburg, where someone is raping women and strangling them with their own stockings. I realised I was totally into this fetish and that I was a bad person. Nobody must ever know!
Then Frenzy; Hitchcock shared my fetish. What a bonus when video came along – your own private copy. In stores, browsing could find Don’t answer the phone, Halloween (P J Soles), Swinging Barmaids (Katie Saylor). The internet; Necrobabes, which I joined, heart pounding. This was wrong, I was a bad man. But there must be many bad men, or there wouldn’t be sites like this. Were we bad? We didn’t hurt anybody. To confess, I think I was disappointed with many stories posted in Necrobabes. I don’t know why; I felt ungrateful considering that a few years before I would have been over the moon to discover something like that.
And so here I am today, still a fetishist, still slightly guilty. My favourite scenario is the office scene from Frenzy. I could watch that with variations over and over again. One variation would be the woman wearing stockings instead of pantyhose, and after the failed rape, the killer would peel one off and use it instead of his tie. How about a Frenzy mini-series – we see 4 victims but know there are others. Show how they met their end, who they were etc.
Other suggestions (mostly derivative):
• The gangster’s girl-friend who knows too much and has to be silenced. He sends his hitman whom the woman knows and thinks is a friend. They have a few drinks before he kills her. My fevered imagination came up with the embellishment that she was a former actress, whose most important role was being strangled in a film. The hitman gets her drunk and speaks about her career. He asks her to dress up and act out the scene where she is murdered. She laughs and does so and he strangles her – just like her film.
• The stewardess (in a nice, sexy uniform) who has been running drugs. She meets the boss to deliver her latest cargo but he is closing down the operation and silencing all his operatives.
• The girl who doesn’t realise that the blue movie / photo shoot is going to turn into a snuff one. (Sidney Sheldon’s Bloodline used this but could have been better.)
• Hookers in all sorts of ways….
I was brought up in the ‘50s on a British working class street, with many cinemas nearby. With an unmarried aunt, I would go twice a week. Bless her; she sat through westerns, adventure and sword and sandal films. However occasionally there were thrillers where a woman was killed. This made me uncomfortable; at the time I thought it was because women shouldn’t be killed - they were mothers, housewives etc. I wonder if it was because I enjoyed that part of the film but felt guilty about it.
My friends and I would visit second hand bookshops to buy comics. There were also True Detective magazines for sale, some imported from the States. At a time when there weren’t many scantily dressed women in film or TV, the sight of lingerie clad women in peril excited me, especially if the threat they faced was strangling. I didn’t buy any, there was something “wrong” with these magazines.
The media became more liberal, if that is the word. Newspapers like The Sun had topless models on page 3, and if those girls had something decorative around their neck – a ribbon, a scarf – then my cup did run over. The first sight of a tongue protruding from a strangled woman came in ‘68 in the BBC series about a pathologist – The Expert. Things could also creep up on you – Rhonda Fleming nearly strangled in the Bob Hope comedy The Great Lover. At school I bought a second hand war book (Comrades of War, Sven Hassell) expecting the usual stuff. But the protagonists spend the first half of the book in hospital in Hamburg, where someone is raping women and strangling them with their own stockings. I realised I was totally into this fetish and that I was a bad person. Nobody must ever know!
Then Frenzy; Hitchcock shared my fetish. What a bonus when video came along – your own private copy. In stores, browsing could find Don’t answer the phone, Halloween (P J Soles), Swinging Barmaids (Katie Saylor). The internet; Necrobabes, which I joined, heart pounding. This was wrong, I was a bad man. But there must be many bad men, or there wouldn’t be sites like this. Were we bad? We didn’t hurt anybody. To confess, I think I was disappointed with many stories posted in Necrobabes. I don’t know why; I felt ungrateful considering that a few years before I would have been over the moon to discover something like that.
And so here I am today, still a fetishist, still slightly guilty. My favourite scenario is the office scene from Frenzy. I could watch that with variations over and over again. One variation would be the woman wearing stockings instead of pantyhose, and after the failed rape, the killer would peel one off and use it instead of his tie. How about a Frenzy mini-series – we see 4 victims but know there are others. Show how they met their end, who they were etc.
Other suggestions (mostly derivative):
• The gangster’s girl-friend who knows too much and has to be silenced. He sends his hitman whom the woman knows and thinks is a friend. They have a few drinks before he kills her. My fevered imagination came up with the embellishment that she was a former actress, whose most important role was being strangled in a film. The hitman gets her drunk and speaks about her career. He asks her to dress up and act out the scene where she is murdered. She laughs and does so and he strangles her – just like her film.
• The stewardess (in a nice, sexy uniform) who has been running drugs. She meets the boss to deliver her latest cargo but he is closing down the operation and silencing all his operatives.
• The girl who doesn’t realise that the blue movie / photo shoot is going to turn into a snuff one. (Sidney Sheldon’s Bloodline used this but could have been better.)
• Hookers in all sorts of ways….
My obsession with bullseyes came out of my own tiny mind with no external example in sight, and when I was so young that I have no recollection of ever being without it. I can only guess that even in infancy there was an atavistic impulse to penetrate, and the convex target seemed the most female thing imaginable when I wasn't aware of the concave alternative. 
Must be something like that--I'm not much of a believer in "born this way."